the swivet

Losing sight of what’s important: Looking back, looking ahead and making changes in the New Year.

colleen — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 19:09:00 +0000

As we approach the end of 2009, it’s helpful to take stock of the previous year – the good and the bad – and to try to make some changes for the better for the coming year, to hopefully keep from making some of the same mistakes again, both in our professional and personal lives.

Some of you may have noticed that I have almost stopped posting on this blog. It’s not because I dislike keeping a blog or writing. But I’ve discovered I really do intensely dislike writing about work, about agenting, about query stats and helpful hints for people who – let’s face it – should already know better. For me, writing about being an agent is tedious and dull and – as far as I can tell – lends nothing new to the great hive mind of agent blogs out there that are already doing the very same thing.

If you really want to read a blog only about agenting and getting published, this is not the place for you. Go visit Nathan Bransford and Rachelle Gardner and Jessica Faust; in my opinion, these are the three best agent blogs out there. (And unlike me, they genuinely enjoy writing about what they do!) In fact, I think you’d do well to bookmark those three blogs and skip most of the rest. Spend that extra time writing. Or reading. Or better yet, spend that time playing with your kids or dogs or cats. Or spending time with friends. In other words, spend more time in the real world and stop worrying about which agent has the better advice on how many words a query letter should be or whether your salutation is perfect or whether angels are hot in YA right now or whether you should use MS Word’s wordcount or go with an antiquated (and ridiculous) 250-words per page calculation that someone made up 100 years ago. (For the love of all that is holy, just get over this obsession and use the frakkin’ word count tool in Word!)

Because the truth is that NONE of these things is going to make you a better writer, or will better your odds of getting published.

What will make you a better writer? Living a full life. Having friends. Having lovers. Having a real community of people around you. Living outside your own head. Putting down the pen and paper, turning off the computer and walking away from it now and again and just allowing yourself to experience a real life.

And that goes for me as well.

I try to keep a log of all the books I’ve read; over the past twelve months I was appalled to discover that I’d read only twelve books that were not client manuscripts or manuscripts that I’d requested from queries. Twelve books. And this from someone who used to be able to read a book a day.

I became a bookseller and moved into publishing for one reason and one reason only: because I love books. I love the art of storytelling. I love the words on the page, in whatever format or medium they are delivered. But since I’ve become an agent, I’ve mostly stopped reading for pleasure. I no longer have the time. I requested too many partials and too many manuscripts and found it impossible to stay on top of the reading.

And let’s face it: much of what we agents read every day is simply mediocre – not bad, but not good and certainly not memorable – so after a time I began to dread approaching my own slush pile. I simply didn’t enjoy reading anymore.

But the worst thing was the realization that over the past year, I’d spent less time with friends and family, less time with my community, my cats and the people that I love; the trade-off simply wasn’t worth it.

And I had nobody but myself to blame.

So in 2010, some things will be changing for me, too:

I won’t be attending any writing conferences this year except Backspace, which is located in New York City.
I’ll be taking on fewer clients this year.
I will be much more discriminating in what I request to read, and there will be far fewer requests overall.
I will no longer be writing about agenting or my freelance work on this blog. (Whether I keep the blog as a book blog – the way it used to be – is still up in the air.) I may pop up the occasional post to let you know if I’ve closed to queries or if my submission guidelines get tweaked. But I will continue to host impromptu #askagent sessions over on my Twitter account, and you’re always welcome to come ask me questions there when a session is scheduled.
I’ll no longer be taking the time to provide detailed reasons as to why I’m rejecting a partial or full manuscript. The simple fact is that it’s not my job to make a writer’s work better. It’s my job to sell my clients’ works to publishers and help guide their careers. If you want someone to help you fix your manuscript, hire an editor. Here are some of the best freelance editors on the planet: Papertyger, Sterling Editing, Third Draft. It’ll cost you a couple thousand dollars, but that’s what the services of a good editor are worth.
I’m going to make time to read at least two published books a week.
I’m going to take better care of myself physically and emotionally (the first step of which is putting this post out there and setting some work boundaries).
I will personally smack anyone I hear whining and kvetching about how publishing is dying. Publishing isn’t dying; it’s evolving, like it always has, and evolution is a painful process. I love this business but I accept that it is flawed. So what? Name an industry that isn’t. If you want publishing to work better, than be a part of the solution. Or I will absolutely smack you in the mouth.
I’m going to have more fun. Period.

Life is too damned short, people. Just live it! Before you forget how.

And to all of you, a joyful and peaceful New Year.

Guest Blogger Max Leone: Winter Reading Recommendations for Teens

colleen — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 15:22:00 +0000

Fifteen-year-old Max Leone is a frequent guest-blogger here at The Swivet. He also has a lot of opinions about books. Some of those opinions have appeared on this blog and some of them have appeared at Publishers Weekly. He is currently assistant stage manager of his high school’s production of Tommy and also writes for the school newspaper. He lives in New Jersey. Max sent me a list of some suggestions for last-minute stocking stuffers for teens. Enjoy!

Winter Reading Recommendations for Teens
by Max Leone

Ah, winter. The season in which bells ring, snow falls, children’s faces light up with joy, and the consumer world is plunged into a deep, dark pit of delirium by the insatiable maw of Christmas.

If you wish to spend the next few weeks in a labyrinth of malls, catalogues, and parking lots, do not read this article. This article is for those who would rather get their shopping done quickly and easily by following a list of my book recommendations. (Well, shopping for a teenager. I regret to inform you that I cannot help in choosing gifts for significant others, adult siblings, mistresses, pets, and/or clones. Unless they are teenage clones. Note that if they are teenage assassin clones, they will most likely prefer laser weaponry to books.)

Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins
The sequel to the fantastic book The Hunger Games, Catching Fire proves not only that Suzanne Collins can defy the clichés and conventions of YA literature, she can also do something few in any art form can: make a sequel even better that its predecessor. With a more complex plot, a larger, more fleshed-out cast, and more mature themes, Catching Fire is one of the few YA books that move beyond “Hey, teenage girls have a lot of money these days, and I need a new hot tub full of mermaids. Let’s slap together some book about high school or vampires so I can bathe surrounded by fish-people”.

Twentieth Century Boys by Naoki Urasawa
This sadly under-appreciated manga series is still one of my favorites, mainly because the story balances dozens of subplots and hundreds of characters, and the author still manages to make it work. Every element, no matter how minor, is eventually revisited and explained, the mysteries are cleared up (though it does get incredibly complicated), and every character’s individual story is resolved. TCB’s premise, that an adult loser finds out that a sinister cult is using the symbol and rituals he and his friends came up with as kids, is brilliant. Since manga series rarely get the recognition they deserve, and this series is neglected even for a manga series, its like Romeo and Juliet were on the Titanic when the Hindenburg crashed into it and killed Bambi’s mother (i.e. a tragedy.). So yeah, buy it.

Sandman by Neil Gaiman and various artists
This (now-complete) graphic novel series is: amazing, pure genius, inventive, well-written, astounding, wonderful, fantastic, _________, and ________. In case you are wondering, those spaces are for you to put any other adjectives you can think of. Sandman defies adjectives. This tale of the anthropomorphic personification of dreams is beyond the ability of mere adjectives to describe. Since the world already has more than enough rants about how graphic novels aren’t recognized as art, I will not add another. Sandman is one of Neil Gaiman’s best works. Actually, ignore that. Sandman is one of humanity’s best works.

The Automatic Detective by A. Lee Martinez
I had always thought of this book as another under-appreciated classic, but then my numerous sources and in-depth academic research (ok, I Googled the author a few times) have revealed that it seems to be getting more recognition. A. Lee Martinez is a hilarious, inventive author, and The Automatic Detective is reminiscent of Discworld, except set in a retro-futuristic Fifties pulp aesthetic metropolis (Please note that I have no idea what retro-futuristic Fifties pulp influenced art actually is. I just heard the phrase and felt like it applied. I do know what a metropolis is, though). My ignorance of Fifties pulp aesthetically influenced retro-futurism (I must consciously will myself to stop using that phrase) aside, this book – written in the first person – does have an interesting interpretation of how a robot would actually think about things. Oh, and fight scenes. And retro futurism. And a Fifties pulp influence.

The Ten-Cent Plague by David Hajdu
Now, just as there are different breeds of cats, there are many types of geek. To assume that all geeks are intimately familiar with comic books is a fallacy, as proven by my continued existence (for the record, I dabble in different types of geekery, but I like to think of myself as a bootleg Engrish translation geek). This book was immensely interesting to me, but I think it would be fascinating even to someone who knows enough about comics to describe someone who knows a lot about comics. Anyway, The Ten-Cent Plague is an amazing record of the history of comics, and the insane censorship they endured.

Watchmen by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons
Watchmen is considered by many to be the best comic of all time. Now, it has gotten plenty of rave reviews over the years, so I feel no need to praise it here. So while I could be using the space to talk about its wonderful characters, beautiful art, and how it uses its setting (an alternate history where superheroes emerged in the 1940s) to deconstruct the superhero genre, as well as the memorable scenes and plot twists, and of course the profound impact it had on comics, but I will not. No, I will not do the things I just did. Instead, I will continue with the list.

The Restaurant at the End of the Universe by Douglas Adams
Douglas Adams is another author who passes the “sequel test” described above. TRATEOTU (best book title acronym ever) is the hilarious sequel to The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, and like that book, it features incredibly inventive humor mixed with even more insightful observations about the world. The highlight, of course, is the scene at the titular restaurant.

"You can go on a bender at the Temple of Dendur, but you’re not allowed to film at the Met Museum."

colleen — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 00:49:00 +0000

This is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. Especially if you’re a fan of New York’s Metropolitan Museum of Art. Enjoy!

And the winner of the Kelly Gay/Alan DeNiro book set is:

colleen — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 14:26:00 +0000

Chris Kammerud!

Congratulations, Chris! You’ve won a copy of Kelly Gay’s THE BETTER PART OF DARKNESS and Alan DeNiro’s TOTAL OBLIVION, MORE OR LESS! Email me your mailing address, please, so I can get those out to you!

Happy Release Day to Alan DeNiro & Kelly Gay! (And win a set of both books!)

colleen — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 13:36:00 +0000

Today is the official release day for Kelly Gay’s THE BETTER PART OF DARKNESS and Alan DeNiro’s TOTAL OBLIVION, MORE OR LESS. Congratulations, Alan and Kelly!

To celebrate, I’m giving away a set of both books to one lucky Swivet reader in the United States!

To enter, just leave a comment below and I’ll pick a winner via a random number generator on Friday, November 27th!

This is how excellent comic books are made! (And how you can help!)

colleen — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 04:26:00 +0000

Some of you may be familiar with DC Comics’ online venture Zuda Comics, where new comic artists and writers can create web comics and post them online in a monthly competition for a chance to win a contract to complete a full comic online. Think of it as the American Idol of comic book creators (only without Simon Cowell’s snark or chest hair). Readers get to vote on the comic they like best.

So why am I telling you this? Because my client Niki Smith, illustrator extraordinaire, has teamed up with the equally amazing storyteller Mike Jasper to create a kick-ass 8-page comic called IN MAPS AND LEGENDS that is being featured in Zuda’s current contest for November. And right now? They’re ranked at NUMBER ONE!

I’d like to keep them there, and help them win a contract for a full run of their comic. So I’m asking for your help! Go read IN MAPS AND LEGENDS and then vote!

Here’s a painless guide for voting on Zuda!

Register on Zuda.com

Verify the account via your email.

Sign into your account at Zuda and select IN MAPS AND LEGENDS

Read the comic! (Because it is made of AWESOME!)

To the right of the comic, just press the VOTE button, rate the comic five stars and ‘add as favorite.’ The vote is by far the most important of these three things. And leave a comment to let Niki and Mike know what you think.

Spread the word before the end of November!

Niki and Mike have also been posting extras on their both of their website sitesincluding promotional art and a step-by-step process of the first page of the comic, from script to finished art. They’ve also also got a Facebook Fan Page set up!

So what’re ya waiting for? GO VOTE!

Hilarious SNL parody of Twilight starring Taylor Swift – enjoy!

colleen — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 16:33:00 +0000

Starred Booklist review for Alan DeNiro’s TOTAL OBLIVION, MORE OR LESS

colleen — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 03:38:00 +0000

This is an amazing – and thoughtful – review:

TOTAL OBLIVION, MORE OR LESS by Alan DeNiro:

For 16-year-old Macy, the whole world has gone crazy, quite literally. Barbarians from antiquity have invaded America, while bizarre plagues and impossibly shifting landscapes ravage her Minnesota homeland. Together with her parents, sister, brother, and a possibly evil dog, Macy sets out down the Mississippi on an adventure that takes her into the smoldering ruins of St. Louis, aboard a wooden submarine that’s bigger on the inside than outside, and finally into the stone-skyscraper capital of Nueva Roma. All the while she dodges oil-men turned slavers, plague-instigating wasps, an albino bounty hunter, and, perhaps most dangerous of all, her scheming younger brother. DeNiro (who flaunted a knack for offhand SF oddness in Skinny Dipping in the Lake of the Dead, 2006) makes sure never to do anything as dull as explaining what the heck is going on—we simply accept that the world has become a surreal, historical landscape come to life and move on. He drops in so many tantalizingly inspired touches—the new (old?) empire considers Post-it notes a precious natural resource—that leaving his inside-out America at the end is almost painful. There aren’t many writers who take weirdness as seriously as DeNiro does, and fewer still who can extract so much grounded emotion, gut-dropping humor, and rousing adventure from it. A dizzying display of often brilliant, always strange, and definitely unique storytelling. — Ian Chipman

Seriously, if you haven’t preordered this book yet, well…why the hell not?

We have a Bloom County winner!!!

colleen — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 16:58:00 +0000

Okay, my bad! I kept forgetting to actually pick a winner for my Bloom County contest! But after reading and re-reading and laughing my head off a LOT, we finally do have a winner!

Paul Neuhardt, your FTC disclaimer was my favorite, and will live on in infamy on The Swivet and hopefully help keep the FTC off my ass. Therefore, YOU are the winner of a brand-new copy of Bloom County: The Complete Collection, Volume One: 1980-1982, courtesy of Diamond Book Distributors and IDW.

And here’s Paul’s disclaimer:

DISCLAIMER: Be it known by all here reading that the following may or may not be the case in any given book review I post:

1. If I talk about a book, I might have gotten it for free from someone with a vested interest in the success of that book. On the other hand, I might have found it abandoned in the seat pocket in front of me during my last plane trip. I’ll try to let you know on a case by case basis.

2. If that aforementioned someone who gave me the book is deluded enough to think that my blog constitutes anything even remotely resembling “a force” in publishing, then there is the serious chance that my free book was worth every penny I paid for it and I’m unlikely to talk about it anyway. Just saying…

3. Publishers and authors, I will be happy to shill for you, but you better pony up cash. Lots of cash. All the free stuff I get is reviewed with what turns out to be my honest opinion, meaning if I think it’s crap, I’ll call it crap. Oh yeah, if you do pay me for the review, I’m going to mention that factoid by saying something like, “I read this fabulous book the other day, which I would never have known about if the publisher hadn’t sent me on an all-expenses paid holiday to a secluded tropical island, allowing me to read my complimentary copy on the beach in peace.”

4. Readers, until you see me tooling around in a BMW that is unexplainable by the income from my day job (and all BMW’s meet this condition) you will know that I’m telling you what I think about the book, no matter how the damn thing ended up in my grubby mitts. (See Item 3 above for clarification on why this is so.)

5. FTC-type people, if this isn’t a good enough disclaimer for you, then you need to get a life. The IRS is happy with me, and they are notorious for being the grumpiest agency in our government that isn’t in the spy business. Who are you to think you know better than the IRS?

6. I could have said all this in far fewer words, but dealing with the federal government is like dealing with my seventh-grade English teacher: High word count rules, and bullshitting is allowed. There, I threw you FTC guys another bone and made this really long so it looks all official. Sorry about the IRS remark, fellas. That one was cold, I admit.

Congratulations, Paul, and thanks for playing!

Live-chat with author Eoin Colfer today at 3:30 PM EST!

colleen — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 18:08:00 +0000

Head on over to Suvudu today at 3:30 EST to live-chat with Eoin Colfer, author of the bestselling Artemis Fowl series, Airman (soon to be a movie!) and the controversial And Another Thing.

(And while you’re there, don’t forget to enter Suvudu’s And Another Thing Sweepstakes!)